Now that the blogging program is over, I no longer will have to post daily (as you might have guessed from the brief hiatus I took this week). That said, I feel like during my 2 weeks I have reached more people, and felt far more disciplined in my writing.
Prior to the program, I had about 18 unpublished drafts saved to this blog. Now, I have 27. I was hoping that this program will help diminish that number. I thought I would lack new topics to talk about and would need to pull from my store. Little did I know, this would not be the case. I found that I had plenty to talk about: easy topics, heavy topics, red and blue topics (okay so they weren’t colorful). In fact, I found myself inspired with more ideas, hence why my unpublished count has increased.
I did publish a few that were sitting around in my drafts or in the unpublished ether of my brain. And I am going to challenge myself to write these others or clear them out. Once a week, I will make sure to publish a minimum of one until my drafts are clear.
Some of these are going to be tough to publish, as I feel like I don’t know enough about the topics yet or I’m afraid to let them out. As much as it gets easier to open up, there are still topics that aren’t as easy. I’ve certainly done a lot of work in that area, as some of you may tell. Talking about my sexuality, religion, taboo, it is all scary for me. A lot of you have reached out to say how proud you are of me, and your own perspectives on the subjects. This discussion is vital to what I want to accomplish with this blog.
Since the program ended, I’ve been feeling a bit down. Well, “a bit” is an understatement. My goal is to continue blogging. Continue putting my story out here. Transmit it into the void like a message in a bottle and hope that it finds meaning. Right now, there’s a lull in activity in my life: the blogging program is over, the next round of the contest isn’t until September, the family that I nanny for is on vacation for the next 2 weeks, and my team went and won the championship in Pittsburgh this weekend. Temporarily, it seems like my life has lost meaning.
I know to some of you that may sound dramatic, but I am sensitive to this sense of purpose. Little changes add up to big waves in my soul. What am I going to do for the next 2 weeks while I don’t work? What am I going to do for the next month before the next round in the contest? What am I going to do now that the football season is really over? What am I going to do with my life?
Sure, I have goals. Everyone has goals. Anyone can strive for things. A lot of my goals are intangible. And in my next blogpost, I will tell you about those goals. Those tough goals that all will take time, and none seem to be coming any time soon. Thanks for reading this reflection and introspective piece.