I liken it to feeling that you have cinderblocks tied to your body….It takes every ounce of my energy to get through my week, and I don’t have a ton going on right now (no pun intended, just kidding, EVERY pun intended). Life is a difficult balance right now. I think that is why it is particularly difficult to get through the day. I’m trying to balance on a tightrope of life with cinderblocks tied to me. At any moment, I feel like I could crash and burn. And somedays, I do.Read more "Vulnerability: A Poisonous Side Effect of Therapy"
There’s nothing I dislike more than not being able to do something. Especially when I’ve really wanted this. It’s hard watching other people successfully tackle and get to play in a game that you love. One of the hardest things I’ve done is to take myself out of the tackling drills and off of the active roster. This is temporary.Read more "A Journey Back to Football"
As soon as I read it, tears came to my eyes. I’ve seen celebrities come out, and have been surrounded by queers many times, but this is the first book (outside of Hannah Hart’s Buffering Book) that I’ve read where the protagonist is queer. Because of the words in a few short sentences, I cried. I cried because finally there was a character like me.Read more "Representation is Important!"
This endeavor has been incredibly important to me in my life. I’m in the best shape than I have ever been. I’m gaining confidence, friends, and life skills. It has been an integral part of my integration in St. Louis.Read more "Saint Louis SLAM Fundraising"
Change is good. I think that regardless of how things change, it must have been written in the atoms to be that way for a reason. While even thinking about being healthy is kind of scary to me, I am looking forward to what it will be like.Read more "Change"
In the meantime, I hope to be able to get better at dealing with this. My therapist believes that this is a curable illness, but it takes extensive behavioral therapy. And, that won’t happen overnight. Please know that I am always doing my best, regardless of how that looks externally.Read more "Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)"
That’s the catch. For the majority of my life, I have strived to make others comfortable. I’ve adapted to what they wanted and expected of me. I had thoughts and ideas of my own, but rarely voiced them. This has had a huge impact on my life, while not having an impact on others.Read more "Uninstalling…Filter"